"I Wanted to Feel Sexy and Empowered..." || Miss Amber |Midtown manhattan | Upper east side | Hudson Square | Centre Island |New York Boudoir Photographer
I knew (well, knew of) Miss Amber in High School. In my eyes, she was beautiful, always smiling, and always with someone who was equally prettier and cooler than me and my friends. I say this not to blow smoke or degrade myself, but you know high school...it's all comparisons and 'am i enoughs...' and let's be honest, sometimes that doesn't even stop at high school. I also mention this because no matter what you see on the outside, you never know what they've got going on inside. I asked Amber to write down her self love story, and a bit about her decision to schedule her own Luxury Boudoir Empowerment Session. I was so touched by what she said that I left it exactly as she told it:
"Being raised by a single father, I never knew what it was like being a girl. I wore hand-me-downs, a trainer bra until I was in high school, used a face razor on my legs, and wore eye makeup way heavier than it ever should be. This was high school. Surrounded by teens that were beautiful, well taken care of, and remotely judgmental in every way. Like most high schoolers, I had no sense of who I was let alone how attractive.
Then came college. College can be handled in a couple of ways I find, you can be social, try different things, or take opportunities when they come. Or you could stick your head in a book, keep a few close friends, and drinks once a year. That’s when the trouble starts - since I was always the “new” girl, shy, and not confident at all, I never knew how to say NO. So when some sleazy guy comes knocking on my dorm room in the middle of the night, I thought I was something special. Random men taking advantage of a girl that doesn’t know her self-worth. Come to a point where my roommate would say to me “Why him?!”
Then I went back to my natural instinct, to move. Moved to a place where I knew no one, a true place to figure myself out....so I thought. Had a normal job, met a few friends, picked up some hobbies, and went out on a regular basis. My going out adventures always started well, then slowly turned into my old habits. Until one night when all of my little sense of empowerment and self-worth was taken away from me. A place where, “No”, was ignored. That was it for me, the turning point in which I knew I needed to change, that no woman ever deserved to be treated in such a worthless, deeming matter. I knew, I was worth more than this. I love myself more than this. Then began my true journey of self-love and self-confidence.
When a mutual friend added me to Brittnie’s Boudoir Babes group, I took a special interest. Her group is where I was saw women who were CONFIDENT, BEAUTIFUL, and vulnerable. I want to view myself in that way. I wanted to feel sexy and empowered. I knew this was exactly what I needed. I was truly worried that by the end of it, I was going to pick each picture apart. That I was going to worry whether my pictures were “pretty enough” or “good enough” to make me happy. I was sorely wrong in the fact that I knew I OWNED it. Brittnie made me feel like I owned it. These were me, my best me, my most beautiful me. My most confident me. And NO ONE will ever take that away from me."